It’s the late 1890’s, and Lawrence Talbot has returned home after the mysterious death of his brother. He meets his home almost in ruins, his father acting mysteriously, and the entire village acting suspiciously towards him. Talbot, investigating the details about his brother’s death, discovers that he was either attacked by a huge beast, or a savage madman. Sadly for Talbot, he’ll soon find out that it was a bit of both, as the town is under the curse of the werewolf, and Lawrence has just been attacked and received the curse. Will true love be able to save Talbot’s soul, or is he destined to be one of the damned, a werewolf by night?
Yeah you recognize this plot, as it’s been done so many times it’s almost a joke, in everything from the original Lon Chaney film to the Spanish productions of Paul Naschy. I’ve always been a bigger fan of the werewolf than the vampire, mainly because of it’s pure bloodthirsty savagery, but also for the fact that he’s also a man. Many great actors have donned the role, and Benicio Del Toro is just the newest one. This movie features a lot in common with the 1941 original. The plot is almost identical at the beginning, even in it’s most awkward moments. I mean, if you can believe Lon Chaney Jr. can be the son of Claude Rains, why not believe Benicio Del Toro could be Anthony Hopkins’? Thankfully the movie is smart enough to use the original only as a blueprint, making it’s own changes and adding new scenes, while staying true to it’s original’s spirit. We get very interesting new scenes, the best being the London stuff, everything from the insane asylum’s tortures to the Wolf Man’s rampage in the streets of London (an homage to American Werewolf?). But the ending comes full circle with the original, having the Gwen Conliffe character being chased by the Wolf Man in the dark, foggy moors.
The cast is excellent. Benicio Del Toro is a way better actor than Lon Chaney Jr ever was, and is able to bring his gruff size and sympathy without trying as hard as Chaney did. And when he turns into a werewolf, boy is he scary! No longer does the Wolf Man look like a drunken Russian on a three day bender, here he looks truly terrifying, and without the wardrobe continuity! Now don’t get me wrong, I love the original Wolf Man. But you have to admit, the werewolf itself isn’t very scary. Here he is, thanks to Rick Baker’s excellent makeup job.. Oddly enough, the CGI in this movie wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be… well, it was in one part, but I’lll get to that in the next paragraph. I was really happy to see a werewolf that was all about the carnage, ripping people apart and opening them like sardine cans. This werewolf was a real monster and had a lot of fun, and there was a lot of carnage on display here. We also get Anthony Hopkins as Sir Talbot, Larry’s father, taking over Claude Rains, bringing the same class and dignity to the original but adding a sinister twist, as well. Emily Blunt is also pretty good in the Gwen role, although for me, Evelyn Ankers was more memorable (and attractive). Hugo Weaving also shows up as a cop, and is very good.
This movie is almost damn perfect, to be honest… except for one thing. There’s a ridiculous-looking CGI bear that almost took me completely out of the movie. I’ve seen better graphics out of a Mario Brothers game! Yeah it’s a bit of a pet peeve but it really is terrible. If you can ignore the beat however, you will see a flawless, Gothic horror film full of scares and gore and rich atmosphere, and some pretty damn good acting as well. Don’t miss it!
Rape/revenge films are like junk-food: you either eat it or you don’t. Me? I love the stuff. The movies, I mean. There are few things in life that make me happier than seeing a woman taking violent revenge after going through hell. So I’ve been watching a lot of them lately, in hopes of being able to make one of my own, and in my search I got this particular piece of trash, from the early seventies. The story involves a group of girls who are going on a bus with their teacher to learn about rocks or something, who knows who cares. On their way they meet a couple of bikers, two bad and one good. The baddest one, played by softcore porn master Zalman King (The Red Shoe Diaries, Wild Orchid), a narcoleptic psychopath who kills people just for talking shit to them. They capture the bus, and start raping the girls and the teacher. But enough is enough, and the girls (and the good biker) decide to take action against the assholes. Well, you know what that leaves into. 
This is a grindhouse movie in it’s most basic sense of the word. The atmosphere is grimy and gritty, and you can even see the sweat fall off the face of the actors, with it’s low budget. The movie is surprisingly un-sexy, which is very rare in rape/revenge films. Of course, there’s nothing sexy about the rape scene in Irreversible, but other than that most rape scenes are pretty good to jerk off to, thanks to the fact that they look mostly fake. This movie is no exception, as the rape is actually off-screen (that of the teacher). There is some t&a but none of it is really that nice, although to be honest I thought the teacher, played by Brenda Fogerty. I wish I had good-looking teachers like that when I was in school. 
The main saving grace of this film is Zalman King, who is so good at playing a psychopath that it’s a tragedy that he didn’t act as much as he directs. He’s conniving, sleazy, and just plain evil, screaming and nodding, and his weird laugh just makes things even more unnerving. He would go on to play a good guy in the LSD horror movie Blue Sunshine and played one of the astronauts in Galaxy of Terror before finding his vocation in bad sex cinema. What a tragedy, he could have been better than David Hess. Although he did recently come back in the previously-reviewed Saint Francis, so I’m hoping he’ll make a full acting comeback. This isn’t a great film but it sure has it’s share of sleaziness and filthiness, and for that it comes highly recommended.
This is Franco’s most professional-looking film, even if the film has it’s share of plot-holes. The cinematography looks very much like a typical 80’s Hollywood film, and the use of the French locations are also excellent. But what makes the film better than most is the cast. Helmut Berger and Brigitte Lahaie are simply perfect in their roles, playing the most suave killers you could think of. Lahaie in particular shines, with her bisexual tendencies and just plain hotness. We also get small parts by such recognized actors as Caroline Munro (who plays an incarcerated victim), Anton Diffring who plays a similar psycho surgeon as he did in Circus of Horrors (hell, it might be the same character) and Telly Savalas as a wealthy businessman who’s trying to find his daughter, a victim of these two psychos. We even get Florence Guerin playing herself, and cameos from Franco regulars Howard Vernon (as Dr. Orloff!) and Franco’s muse, Lina Romay, in a small role. It’s the best cast Franco’s ever had. 
But for most of us, what attracts us to this film, more than anything, is the gore. And boy is this thing gory! Believe it or not, I first heard about this film thanks to the band Impetigo, who named one of their EP’s after this film. Taking the gore from Eyes Without A Face and multiplying it by one hundred, we get to see every process of the surgeons cutting up the young women’s faces and exposing us to their grotesque, skinless faces. When it happened to Guerin, I was actually kind of grossed out. The special effects are excellent and are some of the best of the 80’s. This is one of the most underrated horror films of the eighties and it is just waiting to be discovered by fans of gory horror cinema. Don’t get turned on by the name Jess Franco in the credits, this film is excellent and comes highly recommended.
As you can see, the movie borrows heavily from Evil Dead, Halloween and Night of the Living Dead. Because of this, there is high camp value to be had, but don’t kid yourself, this isn’t exactly high art. The acting is atrocious and it doesn’t get better when the main characters go from bad teen stereotypes to bad children stereotypes. One of the kids in particular seems to scream instead of talk. In the movie’s defense, however, there is a lot of cool gore and makeup effects that are very appropiate for the time. I especially like the sequence where the zombies rise up from the grave, since it’s very foggy and gothic and it kind of reminds me of Thriller, the music video, only with less dancing. So if you want a brainless horror movie that will entertain you and nothing more, go check it out.
That’s the basic plot of the story. It’s very simple, but sadly it doesn’t go too far, and that’s the biggest gripe I have with the film. The movie seems to take place in between a town and a forest house, and not much else. Now this would have been fine for starters, but the story doesn’t take it far enough. I’m amazed because George Romero’s The Crazies had a similar story, yet that film was much wider when it came to it’s plague and destruction. 
But don’t get me wrong, I actually enjoyed this film. It has some very good acting, particularly from Arna Maria Winchester who is beautiful and shows her skin off many times. There are also a lot of Mad Max-inspired car chases that are pretty damn cool. There’s really not much more to say about the film without revealing too much of the plot, it’s just the kind of movie where you’ll either like it or hate it. I liked it, but I didn’t love it either.
As you can see, the science in this film is flawless. Acquanetta the gorilla falls in love with the trainer but when she sees he’s got a girlfriend, he reverts into her savage self again. Which is bad luck, since the boyfriend was counting on the gorilla lady to hypnotize the lions and tigers. You know what? This god-damn movie‘s plot is ridiculously complicated, to the point where I stopped giving a crap less than halfway through. Not that there is nothing worthy about it, after all, Evelyn Ankers and Acquanetta are both very attractive women, and John Carradine over-acts as always, it’s all very entertaining.
One thing that I did like a lot were the animal training sequences. Seeing the lions and tigers getting angry at each other and doing the circus tricks was filmed in a very documentary-like style and it stands out above the rest of the movie. Sadly the story is pretty lame and, as you know, too complicated for it’s own good. To say that this is a horror movie is to say that Spinal Tap is a concert film, it’s just not the truth. Skip it.
Anyway this documentary centers around Marc Bolan’s seminal glam-rock band, T-Rex, the band that gave us such great songs as “20th Century Boy”, “Bang A Gong” and “Children of the Revolution”. The best scenes, as you can imagine, are the live performances, where we get to see the band kicking ass in their most natural environment. However, the movie does cross a very weird line during it’s sequences in between songs, with bad comedy ruling the scene. Particularly surreal is seeing Marc Bolan with a top hat and clown makeup driving around with a guy in a bear suit. What the fuck am I watching? I just wanted to watch some rock n’ roll! There are also sequences that merge the weird with the performance scenes, the best being the scene where the band plays “Children of the Revolution” in a room full of mirrors and Ringo, with a camera and clown makeup, recording them. Yeah, drugs were good back in the day. Ringo joins in once in a while to play drums, which is pretty cool, and we also get a visit from Elton John in some song sequences.
Sadly, Marc Bolan died in 1979 in a car accident, and so did T-Rex. It was the end of an era, and this documentary/surrealist film shows us what it might have been like in it’s fantasy, glittery world. Definitely recommended to fans of classic rock n’ roll and weird cinema in general.
Now to be fair, if you’re not a fan of black metal, then there’s a big chance you won’t give a shit about this documentary. Me? I’m a huge fan of black metal. I love the atmospheric vibe it creates and it inspires me when I’m writing horror screenplays. This documentary features some very well-known bands, like Ulver, Dark Funeral, Finntroll, Rotting Christ, Enslaved and Dimmu Borgir, among many others. There are a lot of jokes, but also a lot of history and commentary on the scene. It’s also humorous to see the rivalries that exist between the Norwegians, the Swedes and the bands from Finland and Austria. It’s pretty ridiculous but highly entertaining.
On a negative note, the documentary is way too long and could have used from some editing work, mainly to focus it more so that it made more sense, instead of just people rambling and talking. The live performances are also a huge letdown, as the sound is atrocious and for the most part the only instrument you can make out are the drums. Still, if you are interested in black metal and the black metal scene, this comes highly recommended.
This is one of the most ridiculous movies I have seen in my life, and I mean that in a good way. From what I researched, the film was to be budgeted at almost four million dollars, which in 1982 was a pretty decent budget. But at the last minute, one of the investors pulled almost seven hundred thousand dollars, which means they had to get rid of the entire first act (which only a brief intro is left), leaving something of a confusing mess, since we don’t know exactly how this future got to be. And the money kept depleting during the production, not helped by the fact that the producers would go to Casinos at night and bet the money to see if they could make it bigger. I mean, what the fuck? Could you imagine this kind of shit happening today? I must say however, that director Brian Trenchard Smith was still able to make an interesting and entertaining, if flawed film.
The acting is probably the least interesting part of it all. Steve Railsback and Olivia Hussey were never great actors, but even they were able to pull off competent performances in good films. Railsback in particular has shown acting gold in films like Helter Skelter and Lifeforce and even his over-acting in Barb Wire was fun. Here, he doesn’t know if he’s playing an American or an Australian, as the accent changes as much as the characters run. And Hussey? She just stays scared and gobbles like a turkey. More interesting are the villains. Michael Craig is really good as Thatcher, having both class and dignity, and Lynda Daniels is hilarious as the politically-incorrect lesbian killer with the exploding arrows. But my favorite performance comes from Roger Ward as Ritter, the warden from Hell. He’s huge, and he’s strong, and he talks a lot of smack but is able to back it up. The scene where he fake boxes in front of the prisoner, as she speaks the ‘mantra’ of the jail, and then beats the shit out of her is just vicious as hell, and very few actors are as imposing as him to pull it off. 
This movie has a big reputation and has become something of a cult classic over the years. It’s definitely one of the most famous Australian horror films of all time, mainly because of it’s execution of the nature-run-amuck theme. Now, to the film’s defense, there are positive aspects to the story. The two leads are very good at being the most unsympathetic assholes in the history of Australian cinema. From frame one, all they do is argue and bitch and moan, and it just escalates throughout the entire movie. The way they treat nature and the animals borders on the asshole to the unforgivable, and you really get to hate them with a passion. I also give credit to the filmmakers for keeping the plot very ambiguous. You don’t know if nature is truly taking it’s vengeance on these people, for all you know they’re just accident-prone. That’s a pretty clever thing to do and to pull it off well. Sadly, this movie is just not my cup of tea. 
The main problem I have is that it’s too long. Yes, at ninety five minutes, the film feels like it’s longer than Exodus, with its ridiculously slow pace and sequences where people are just listening to scary noises at night. The last fifteen minutes felt like the Chinese water torture. Also, the choice of animals on display here could have been different. We get shots of Tasmanian devils, koalas, kangaroos, and eagles with scary music, and I’m sorry, these animals are just not that scary. This type of stuff goes on throughout its entire running time and it just didn’t do anything for me. There are a lot of nature-run-amuck films that are good, like The Birds, Jaws and another Australian film, Rogue, but this one just didn’t do anything for me. It is, however, a well made film, and I would recommend it to all of you to make your own decisions. On a personal level though, I don’t think I’ll be seeing it again.
