I Think We're Alone Now

Here is a documentary subject you might not expect: obsessive, almost-psychotic fans of 80’s pop star Tiffany. I like Tiffany. She’s a hot redhead and her song “I Think We’re Alone Now” is pretty damn good, even for orgy scenes. The story centers on two people in particular: for starters, Jeff Turner, famous for being ‘the Tiffany stalker’, and the hermaphrodite-born Kelly McCormick. Kelly claims that a beautiful woman appeared to her in a coma, thus saving her life - - following a near fatal bike crash. She later recognized this woman to be Tiffany. Jeff, on the other hand, says that Tiffany is an inter-dimensional time traveler, and a mystic Sufi master, able to intervene on a supernatural level.
If you think this sounds completely insane, that’s because it is. Still, I have to give credit to documentarian Sean Donnelly, who is able to find a lot of humanity and sympathy for the two subjects instead of just finding them as two crazy people. Still, there are some intense moments of insanity. In the most disturbing scene, Kelly, with tears in her eyes and anger in her voice, claims that she has the birth-right to be married to Tiffany and that she is married to an impostor that has stolen Kelly’s identity and fate. Other moments involve Jeff Turner, who creates these weird fantasies about Tiffany being his best friend, but not being able to communicate it with him for reasons of appearance, and that they talk on the phone and are in love with each other in secret. These are two very sad, very lonely people, but we’re able to relate to them instead of just making fun of them.
The scenes where the characters meet and talk with Tiffany are very awkward, particularly the one where Jeff is looking at Tiffany’s Playboy pictures in the middle of the convention floor. The documentary sadly ends on something of a half note. On the one-hand, Kelly is able to get her life back together, even if she still has hope that she will someday marry Tiffany. Jeff, on the other hand, completely abandons his Tiffany fantasies and decides to focus instead on Alyssa Milano, one of my top 10 babes. Jeff begins to talk about how Milano is another time-traveller who has intervened in between his and Tiffany’s relationship so that him and Milano can be together. You feel as if you want to laugh, if it wasn’t so damn creepy at the same time. This is a very interesting documentary on how two people’s loneliness and mental imbalance can create a parallel planet. It’s very good and very interesting.