If El Dia De La Bestia is the heavy metal equivalent of a Spanish horror movie, then Killer Tongue is it’s glam rock derivative, being shiny and interesting to watch, yet it’s music rocking and easy to swallow. Our story involves a woman named Candy, who is sent to a convent waiting for her criminal boyfriend to get out of jail. When he’s about to get out, she leaves the convent with a group of dogs and a cool car. But this doesn’t last long, as a meteor with a weird lifeform possesses her and turns her into a weirdo monster with a giant tongue with a mind of it’s own. And the dogs get turned into fags.
I really don’t know what to make of this film. When I was a kid I would always see it in the horror section, but never got myself the courage to buy it because it’s original cover looked scary. I know, it’s ridiculous but hey, what can I say I was a kid. Now that I’ve finally watched it, I wonder, what the fuck was I thinking? It has horror actors in it, though. Doug Bradley from Hellraiser, Robert Englund from the Nightmare On Elm Street films, and even the drop-dead-gorgeous Melinda Clarke from Return of the living Dead III, who is mostly naked and wearing bodypaint. Yummy.
But no, this is not a horror movie. This is a comedy, and a surprisingly entertaining one at that. The three horror actors are put to the test of stretching their acting muscles and doing comedic work, and you know what? The three of them are really good! Englund in particular is hilarious in the role of the asshole police warden, and Clarke is surprisingly sympathetic and beautiful. But none of them are as funny as the tongue itself. It has a personality similar to Chucky from Child’s Play, and like Chucky, it’s funnier when it curses. Sadly the third act kind of loses me, with it’s lead turning into an evil monster and our hero turning her back on her for no other reason than to fuck a nun, I just didn’t dig it. Still, the movie is colorful and funny and never takes itself very seriously, and neither should you. Go check it out.