There have been many unanswered questions about life, great mysteries that are never going to be resolved. Where is the Ark of the Covenant? Will we ever find the Holy Grail? And of course, what would win in a fighting death match, a giant octopus or a megalodon. The real answer is, who gives a shit? And of course, it’s those good old boys from The Asylum who decided to give us the answer. Now, unless you live under a rock, the Asylum is a direct-to-DVD video company which basically rips off popular films and make unabashed ripoffs on a lower budget. In their defense, this kind of exploitation filmmaking is as old as film itself, hell Hollywood does it all the time, and not all of the Asylum’s films are crap. And this one has it’s moments of greatness. The story involves a nuclear explosion that frees the two prehistoric beasts from a frozen glacier and unleash them onto the world. They go around killing people and destroying cities, until scientists composed of Americans and Japanese make a plan to get the two beasts together and have them have their ultimate death match, and finally kill each other off. The casting is pretty interesting, and inspired to say the least. Debbie Gibson, or shall I say, Deborah, plays our lead scientist. You might think this is silly, considering the last time I heard of her she was singing Shake Your Love. We also get Lorenzo Lamas, aka Renegade, as a government guy. Neither of them are particularly great, but they do their jobs finely.
But who cares about the actors, when we have two gigantic, prehistoric monsters? The two are mostly made of CGI, but it’s such terrible CGI that you just have to marvel at the balls the studio had in the making of this film. Both creatures have their center pieces of disaster, with the giant octopus taking out the oil rig, but sadly for the octopus, the shark gets the best scenes. We have all seen the photos of the shark taking out the San Francisco Bridge, but nothing compares to the awesomeness of seeing the mega shark jump out of the water, more like the great whites do these days, and take out a plane. This sequence is worth the price of the film alone. So yes, it’s cheesy, derivative, and full of cliches, but it’s hugely entertaining and has cool monster sequences. Why wouldn’t you want to watch it?