James Corden and Mathew Horne play Fletch (?) and Jimmy, two losers who decide to escape the boredom and bad relationships that plague their lives and spend a weekend hiking in the countryside. There, they meet a group of really attractive women who study religion or something, staying in a guesthouse in a creepy little town ala American Werewolf In London. Soon they fall victim to a clan of lesbian vampires who are in search of new blood to resurrect their queen, Carmilla, and our motley group just might contain what they need.
I have to give credit for the title. It’s a pretty cool title, like I Was A Teenage Werewolf and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. But sadly, it’s a little misleading. I was expecting a gang of lesbians that killed vampires, so I felt a little pumped about it. Alas, it was not to be, I got two characters who are very similar to the ones in Shaun Of The Dead go into the countryside, followed by some of the worst dick & fart jokes I’ve ever heard, and see a lot of hot women die in very gory-less deaths. Bo-ring. The acting is atrocious and it’s just all a dreg, even if the women are attractive. This movie had a lot of potential to become B-movie greatness, but it falls flat in it’s own juvenile humor. The plot and action pick up a little bit when the third act starts, but it’s still not enough, as the much-hyped final battle is a short and boring disappointment, the vampires explode into white blood instead of red, and the tone of homophobic humor gets a little old after a while. I’d rather watch The Vampire Lovers.