domingo, 6 de septiembre de 2009

Lesbian Vampire Killers

James Corden and Mathew Horne play Fletch (?) and Jimmy, two losers who decide to escape the boredom and bad relationships that plague their lives and spend a weekend hiking in the countryside. There, they meet a group of really attractive women who study religion or something, staying in a guesthouse in a creepy little town ala American Werewolf In London. Soon they fall victim to a clan of lesbian vampires who are in search of new blood to resurrect their queen, Carmilla, and our motley group just might contain what they need.
I have to give credit for the title. It’s a pretty cool title, like I Was A Teenage Werewolf and Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers. But sadly, it’s a little misleading. I was expecting a gang of lesbians that killed vampires, so I felt a little pumped about it. Alas, it was not to be, I got two characters who are very similar to the ones in Shaun Of The Dead go into the countryside, followed by some of the worst dick & fart jokes I’ve ever heard, and see a lot of hot women die in very gory-less deaths. Bo-ring. The acting is atrocious and it’s just all a dreg, even if the women are attractive. This movie had a lot of potential to become B-movie greatness, but it falls flat in it’s own juvenile humor. The plot and action pick up a little bit when the third act starts, but it’s still not enough, as the much-hyped final battle is a short and boring disappointment, the vampires explode into white blood instead of red, and the tone of homophobic humor gets a little old after a while. I’d rather watch The Vampire Lovers.

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