sábado, 24 de octubre de 2009

For Your Height Only

Weng Weng plays Agent 00, a small but incredible secret agent working for the Philippine government. Like every good secret agent, he lives a life of danger and gets pussy like crazy. When a brilliant scientist gets kidnapped by a secret crime organization, run by the mysterious Mr. Giant, Weng Weng is on the case, with the help of a pretty lady secret agent who, of course, he shags.
Forget Austin Powers! If you want a great parody of James Bond, Weng Weng is the embodiment of everything that is over-the-top of Ian Fleming’s famous secret agent and turned to 11! Now, this movie in itself is pretty bad. The acting is bad, and the American dubbing in my copy makes every character sound ridiculous. But other than that, there is a lot of fun to be had with this movie. The action sequences are all cheesy as Hell, with the diminutive Weng Weng kicking all sorts of ass (by first bringing the henchmen to their knees) and getting assistance by his friends. He’s kinda freaky to look at though, since he always has a surprised look in his face. He can’t emote at all. He even has that face when, SPOILER, his girl dies at the end. And much like James Bond, he gets to have sex with a lot of women. His nipples are huge, do all dwarves have huge nipples? He also gets a lot of toys, like a hat with a razor (like Oddjob from Goldfinger) that he can control with a remote, a jet pack (AWESOME) and x-ray glasses that he mostly uses to look at naked women. Classy.
The greatest scene however, comes at the end when he finally gets to the mysterious Mr. Giant. You see, Mr. Giant is another dwarf! They begin to have some of the worst kung fu sequences since Cleopatra Jones, but that’s not the point. The sheer insanity of watching these two go at it, regardless of who wins, is so fucked up that you feel like you’re on acid, and you begin to question everything about your morality. Weng Weng would go on to make a sequel called The Impossible Kid, and then a western, The Wild Wild Weng, before he passed away in 1992. He will always be remembered as one of the greatest midget action stars, and even if his films were bad, they were always entertaining, in that weird kind of way. This is no exception, and if you want the perfect party movie, look no further.

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