Here’s a movie I never say when came out and never really wanted to watch. I’m a huge monster movie fan, but I couldn’t give myself to watch this, even with it’s famous cast and special effects. But I had a friend, who has an unhealthy fetish for dragons and dragon statues, who said I should watch it, so I decided to do so. Boy do I regret it. There is little to no plot. It’s basically about a bunch of survivors in a Mad Max-like world, only instead of marauding Aussie gangs there’s giant fucking dragons who have destroyed the world and eat whoever they see. It’s kind of a ripoff, since the poster you see below seems like they’re destroying a city, but the only cities destroyed are on photoshopped pictures on newspapers made to tell back-story.
The acting is competent from a cast that know better than this. Christian Bale here is a lot friendlier than his recent characters from the Batman/Terminator movies, and looks pretty cool with a scruffy beard, but he basically has nothing to do except act with authority and look intense. Izabella Scorupco, the former Bond girl, lends the typical hot piece of ass, and Gerard Butler appears as his typical goofy self. I swear, even in 300 I can’t help but laugh at his accent. Then there’s the walking joke known as Matthew McCoughnahey, and as you might expect, he chews the scenery like it was bacon and bullshits constantly about heroism and taking action and killing dragons, blah blah blah. I half expected him to get high on weed and start surfing. The dragons themselves aren’t very memorable, being shown off in bad and uninteresting CGI. The one in Dragonheart looks more realistic than the ones here.
I can only give props to one thing, and that’s the production design. The place does look like it went through a dragon apocalypse. I do get a lot of unintentional giggles from sequences such as a guy who’s parachuting from a helicopter and crashes into the ground at full speed, I couldn’t help but laugh. But in the end this movie is no better than your typical SciFi Channel crap, both in acting and effects, and is as memorable as passing gas.