THINGS

Oh boy. I don’t know what to say about this movie, it’s so bad. But not bad in a “wow that movie sucks”. It goes into a new level of really bad, shoddy production values, bad sound, bad acting, terrible special effects (are those monsters made out of play-doh?!?) and camera angles that look like they were made by someone who was drunk.
Then there’s these shot-on-video sequences with porn star Amber Lynn giving some newscast about crap that have nothing to do with the movie you’re watching. I dunno, I like her as the hottest milf in the planet. This movie is so bad it’s almost painful, it’s so bad that I really can’t put it in a category with any other movie. I mean, I’ve seen bad movies before, hell I’ve made some, but even I can say that my movie has some sort of continuity. I first heard of it in Cinema Sewer, a Canadian ‘zine dedicated to underground film and kickass art. It’s description seemed so alien to me, that I knew I had to watch it. And after doing so, I’m glad I did. I’ll be watching this one in the future more and more, not for enjoyment, simply to sink into a world that I know is beyond anything. Worse than The Final Sacrifice and Manos: The Hands Of Fate, here’s THINGS.